I am not going to write the details here, but I went through a little bit of emotional crisis past couple of days. Thanks to the help of my friends, my mind is getting settled.
Things happens for a reason- this is my belief. Hardship is prepared not to hurt myself, but to give me learn experiences. For that reason, there is no difficulties that is too hard to overcome.
Things learned:
- People think that I am a person who don't rely on others, which is because people don't rely on me either. Again, that would be because I don't.
- I don't usually call friends much, which I think I do.
- I need to get to know more guys, and learn more about guys.
- How is it like to be scared, spooked and paranoid.
- Clearer ideas of how I want to live.
- Clearer ideas of what kind of people I want to be with.
- I can't stand with uncomfortable situation- restriction, fatigue, hunger, drowsiness, etc
- I have lots of friends who care about me.
- I have lots of friends who I can count on.
I also realized that there are some people in this world that hold anger in them and cannot let go. Glad that I don't have that. I don't want to drag the negative without learning.
Human is the hardest thing in the world. This time when this thing happened I was totally freaked out and my intention was only to mentally protect myself.
Later I realized that I have hurted the counterpart. A thing has several dimentions: what I believed was only a part of the truth. There's another truth I never realized until today: the person's intention was totally opposite of the emotion I got. But this was the only way I could to protect me at that point.
What I re-realized was that I am loved by people, I mean lots of people- both guys and girls. People do care about me. They are always around when I need help. Just to have the chance to remember that, this learning experience is worth.Labels: Journal, Notes